Step 6 – our addiction is our “shadow”

“Our shortcomings are not magically and irrevocably banished from us—they are separated a distance away or “removed.” God shows us how to set them aside. We can choose to take them back, but now we have choices. We can choose different thoughts, words, and actions.”

Our A.A. Legacy, by Three Clarence Snyder Sponsee Old-timers and Their Wives, p. 40.

In Step 6, we’re starting to recognize that our behaviors are aligned with the way we think, speak, and act. It’s challenging to let go of the familiar. Sometimes, it’s easier to stay the same than to change because it takes effort to change. It takes effort to mentally choose the better part of your personality; effort to use different words to describe your world and feelings; effort to act on what you know is right for you.

Consider this quote from Thomas Moore:

“Care of the soul speaks to the longings we feel and to the symptoms that drive us crazy, but it is not a path away from shadow or death. A soulful personality is complicated, multifaceted, and shaped by both pain and pleasure, success and failure. Life lived soulfully is not without its moments of darkness and periods of foolishness. Dropping the salvation fantasy frees us up to the possibility of self-knowledge and self-acceptance, which are the very foundation of soul.”

Care of the Soul, by Thomas Moore, pp. xvi-xvii.

Later in the book, Moore elaborates on shadow, as “like everything else, you can’t have it without its shadows: its neediness, inferiority, submission and loss of control.” (p. 7) In other words, you can’t have light without darkness, you can’t have love without hate, you can’t have evil without good.

The importance of Step 6 is your willingness. Your willingness to let go and allow a force greater than yourself to guide your choices. This force is available to every single one of us. It’s a matter of learning to listen, trust, and then act on what the force is guiding you to do. “The force is with you.” It really is!

As a parent, I know that my children may have to go through a path of darkness, of being lost, of being out of control. And I pray and hope that it’s just a stage. Something they will walk through temporarily. It could take years, but I would hope they get themselves out of it because no one else can do it but them.

It’s the same for all of us. Each and every one of us has the great capacity to walk in the light or walk in the darkness. The choice is up to us. Your willingness to walk in the light is just the beginning. It’s the opening of new doors that open to new ways of thinking, speaking, and acting. You only have to walk through it.

#willingnesstochange #shadowforces