deep dive
- Marvello V
- Aug 18, 2019
- 2 min read
A business counselor once shared with me how he keeps a picture of a deep sea diver in his office to remind him of where he wants to be emotionally and spiritually—he wants to live in the deep places. So do I.
When it comes to relationships, I don’t mind superficial interactions…for a little while. But if you’re going to hangout with me for any period of time, eventually we’re going to go deep. It’s the way I live. It’s how I want to relate with people. I want to go places we’re not always comfortable going to.
I just think this life requires us to look deep within ourselves, even deep into other people. But before we can see deeper into others, we have to be willing to look deep within ourselves first. We should explore every behavior, every motivation, know our personality and approach to life so deeply that we’re not surprised when others point it out to us. Granted, we will have some blind spots. It’s inevitable, we’re too close sometimes and can’t see a different reality about ourselves. But our loved ones and people close to us can show us our blind spots if we’re willing to listen.
My wife just reminded me of something I asked her to point out to me when I do it. When I start to be mean and manipulative toward her when I don’t get the intimacy I want. We’ve been married over 17 years and after a certain amount of time you realize that marriage is so much more than intimacy. It’s commitment, it’s friendship, it’s enjoying each other’s company, and wanting to learn and grow together. But I often put way too much emphasis on our intimacy and I can get mean and manipulative to get my way. I don’t want to operate that way though, so I asked my wife to tell me when I’m acting that way. She told me she can see it in my eyes. Crazy, huh? But that’s what it means to go deep with each other. And it’s one of the reasons I adore my wife so much, because of her willingness to go deep with me.
If we really want to grow in any relationship, we have to be willing to go deep. We do it so we can become more compassionate, more loving, more understanding of our human limitations and flaws. And we do it because it feels good to move closer to our true nature…love.
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